The Best Caddie Quote of the Year is snaffled by Craig Connelly, Kaymer's bagman, who whispered en route to the 72nd hole in Abu Dhabi "I hadn't seen this coming!". A "here we go again" walking down the 12th on the final afternoon in Italy confirms the award.
The Most Self-Effacingly Honest Answer Jules goes to Austin Johnson, Dustin's brother and caddie. When asked if we could pick his brains about a few aspects of his brother's play, his reply was (and you need to say this with a Southern drawl), "Sure, but you'll have to dig deep." Brilliant!
Making a rare appearance, the Taxi Driver of the Year Award goes to the Senior Instructor at the Hong Kong Academy for Would-Be Cabbies who drove my green taxi from the airport after the BMW Masters. He clearly believed that the steering wheel is an instrument designed to be yanked violently in opposing directions as often as possible, whilst the accelerator should be pumped much in the way the violin section would bow during The William Tell Overture. When this became impractical on long downhill sections, he quickly realised that the footbrake has a very similar effect, when used in staccato fashion. I've never been so glad to get home.
Rather than the usual selection of "Rookie", "Player", "Shot" of the Year, this has been a season to celebrate. Be it The Great Triumvirate II, The Big Three Again, The Cavalier Quadrille or the Famous Five, in McIlroy, Spieth, Day, Fowler plus a handful more, golf has a nucleus of hugely talented, immensely charming and likeable young stars who will surely dominate and enliven the major scene for the next decade at least. What a prospect.
Andy Sullivan gets a mention in dispatches for three wins on Tour. As do Matt Fitzpatrick for more top 10's than anyone else (10), plus a debut win at the British Masters and all in his rookie year, Wu Ashun for becoming the first Chinese player to win a European Tour event on home soil, and Javi Colomo for making the cut in the Mauritius Open. When needing at least a birdie at his 36th hole he made an albatross by holing his tee shot on the drivable but difficult par-4 ninth.
So the Academy, after a long (and not entirely dry) session decided that the season and all its happenings should take the major award for 2015; a launch pad for a new era that promises so much.
Finally, The Most Complacent Statement of the Year is unanimously presented to the much revered and hugely respected commissioner of the PGA Tour for his brilliant assertion about the distance players hit the ball. (see footnote, above). Tim Finchem will undoubtedly be inundated with Christmas presents from loving and devoted golf fans everywhere. Hopefully he'll put this Jules in a prominent spot on his mantelpiece.
Have a happy golfing Christmas.
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